


Of Defiance and Determination

by Lokne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aggression, Courting Rituals, F/M, Female James Potter, Genderswap, Jamie is barren, Jamie is unable to have kids, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pre-Canon, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Werewolves, no, really - Freeform, they do, they hate each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokne/pseuds/Lokne
Summary: Jamie Potter prowled around the girl’s dormitory as she tried to calm herself. Yesterday, Lupin tried to gain more power and favor among Gryffindor by stealing bits of her territory and members of her pack. If Heir Black, their designated intermediary, hadn’t informed her of the coup d'état, she would have attacked him regardless of the consequences. No one stole from her, least of all, Lupin.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Female James Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	Of Defiance and Determination

**Author's Note:**

> A repost of an old fic of mine.

Jamie Potter prowled around the girl’s dormitory as she tried to calm herself. Yesterday,  _ Lupin _ tried to gain more power and favor among Gryffindor by stealing bits of her territory and members of her pack. If Heir Black, their designated intermediary, hadn’t informed her of the coup d'état, she would have attacked him regardless of the consequences. No one stole from her, least of all,  _ Lupin _ . 

She twirled her wand as she paced in front of the blazing fireplace. The missive that she had fed the hungry flames a few minutes prior was a small pile of ash. It brought a vicious grin to her face even though she knew her mum and dad awaited her reply. The words from her parents enraged her enough that she would willingly attack the next person who was foolish enough to cross her path. But it also made her want to sick up in the bathroom and pretend that she had never seen it. She wasn’t  _ weak _ , though, and refused to show someone else her belly. 

Jamie was the first female alpha werewolf in the Potter Pack in three generations and she knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it. Her parents raised her with the knowledge that she would take control of the Pack on her eighteenth birthday. She would be finished with her wizard schooling and would be strong enough to defend her position as alpha if there were any challengers. Jamie knew that those not close to her family couldn’t understand why she would become alpha instead of Mating with someone from another pack, but that had never been an option—not for her. 

“Will you stop growling, you’re interrupting my concentration,” Lily Evans demanded. “If you don’t keep quiet, I’ll go study in the common room!”

Jamie sneered. “Don’t test me, Evans, or you’ll be drinking potions for breakfast in the hospital wing.” 

Jamie didn’t like the Muggle-born witch. She acted like she was an alpha. Lily tested her at every opportunity, demanding to know why Jamie had to be so  _ difficult _ . Jamie made sure that all of the girls in the dorm room understood what it meant to live with an alpha female the first night. None of them demanded a different room and two of the purebloods already knew that it wasn’t wise to cross a pureblood werewolf. 

“D-did you hear that? She threatened me!” Lily demanded. 

“What did you say,  _ Evans _ ? I was reading  _ Witch Weekly _ and you  _ know _ I can only concentrate on one thing at a time,” Ziliah Brown said. 

Jamie smirked. For the past seven years Lily voiced her opinions about how vapid and ignorant Ziliah was because she enjoyed fashion and makeup. Apparently, if it didn’t involve spectacular grades and studying for hours, it was a useless pastime and should be done away with. Jamie couldn’t imagine living like Lily. She would be bored within the first hour.

Jamie’s eye twitched when they continued to bicker and nitpick each other. Normally she found it entertaining and would watch as they ripped each other apart. It never got vicious or dissolved into a duel, but it still amused her. Werewolves normally just fought each other; they didn’t bother with the verbal sparring first. Why would you waste your breath insulting one another when you could force them to bare their belly and slink off with their tail between their legs? 

The thought of Lupin baring his neck and belly to her was a pleasing thought—one that would never happen. He was too proud and self assured to even consider the degrading act, though that hadn’t stopped her from trying. Ever since she had met the stupid arrogant pup she had hated him. He was an alpha and the heir of the Lupin Pack. When they were introduced by a stupid pureblood who thought they would get along on the Hogwarts Express she almost gutted him with her wand. He hadn’t liked her since. 

Alpha’s rarely got along and over the years their feud became legendary. The common room was divided in half. He was permitted to have the fireplace because the girls had one in their dorm room. And Jamie took control of the study area. She didn’t know if he had one in his room, but frankly, she didn’t care. It was hers. Boys were not permitted into the girl’s dorm rooms, regardless of invitations, and girls were forbidden from entering the boy’s. It kept things semi-uncomplicated and there hadn’t been any bloodshed in a week. It was a new record. 

The only neutral zone in the entire tower was the entrance and the four feet surrounding it. It would be pointless if they weren’t able to enter their territory because of their rival. It also made Professor McGonagall less likely to give them detention or suspended them. It would humiliate their pack if they were suspended and Jamie refused to show that weakness.

Jamie stalked down the stairs and into the common room. Ziliah Brown and Constance Boot flanked her as they had for the past six years. She didn’t need the extra protection, but she enjoyed their company so she allowed them to stay. It was amusing that they thought they would be able to protect her. She was stronger and faster than they were. She was an alpha and it was expected. She made sure that she didn’t cross the invisible boundary, though she would have if she had been in a better mood. She loved to annoy Lupin at every opportunity, especially after the stunt he tried to pull yesterday. 

Her thoughts still centered on that letter and what she would say. Fenrir Greyback wanted to Mate with her. The thought made her want to sick up on the carpet or transform into her wolf form and kill a happy unsuspecting animal. Her parents didn’t plan for someone offering for her. They thought that other males would view her as too volatile and undesirable. Most Alpha’s wanted to Mate with a beta or non-wolf because their spouse would be easier to control and wouldn’t test their decisions. Fenrir was different and that scared her.

Fenrir was the alpha of the Greyback Pack and enjoyed breaking his mates. He thought it was  _ amusing _ to mate with a strong willed female and then slowly chip away at her until she became less than nothing. Jamie wouldn’t accept. To accept his offer would result in her untimely demise much sooner than everyone would expect. However she couldn’t outright reject him either. The Greyback Pack bordered the Potter Pack on the right, the Lupin Pack was located behind them, and the Teschner Pack flanked their left side. And though Lupin harassed her at school she knew that the Lupin Pack would never attack hers without a valid reason. Greyback had no such qualms. He loved fighting and death and would gladly declare a feud if he didn’t get his way. The only way for her to peaceably get out of the Mating was to declare that she was already Marked—the equivalent of a wizard engagement. 

The alpha of the Teschner Pack was female and Jamie would never Mate with someone who wasn’t an alpha. Betas were needy and boring and omegas were too weak and subservient. She would never Mate with someone below her.

“You’re standing around like you’re an omega waiting for an order, it’s pathetic. Move.”

Jamie snarled at Lupin, drawing her wand. She really wasn’t in a good mood. Normally he was more intelligent than this, but if he wanted to fight in the common room she would be more than happy to oblige him. She wanted to cast her wand aside and demand a true battle with fur and teeth and claws. Jamie wanted to wrap her fangs around his neck and squeeze until he conceded her victory. She would almost taste his blood in her mouth. She licked her lips.

“No fighting befor—”

“Shut it, Evans!” she ordered, not looking away from her prey. The anger and fear she that had been circulating through her for the past few hours transformed into bloodlust. She smirked at Lupin when his eyes narrowed. He had heard the underlying wolf that echoed with her words. She was close to transforming—really close. 

She bit her tongue and swallowed the copper liquid that flooded her mouth. If she lost control now it would prove that she was weak and unworthy of being an alpha. She wouldn’t allow herself to lose control like a newborn pup. It was humiliating and put everyone in the room in danger. If she lost herself in the bloodlust then the chances of her biting someone rose exponentially. And she would never Turn someone. 

“Everyone out!” Lupin barked. “Now!”

Jamie forced the wolf back as the common room emptied. She hated that she almost gave in. The letter shook her more than she thought. She purposely walked over to the fireplace and sat in the armchair. She hadn’t sat in it in over five years. It was her favorite and it vexed her when Lupin claimed it, though she hadn’t been willing to fight him for it. The thought of being in Lupin’s territory made her tense and twitchy, as if he would attack her from behind. She knew he wouldn’t. He always fought with honor even when their words grew more crass and hurtful. They refused to attack each other’s back—it was a sign of cowardice.

“What’s wrong? You’re acting like a—”

“An alpha?” Jamie interrupted. Lupin knew she hated that degrading term and only used it when he wanted to rile her up. It was almost worse than a  _ Turned _ .

He snorted and took the seat opposite her. He lounged in the chair as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Jamie could see how tense he was. He wouldn’t hesitate to spring into action if she hexed him or someone came through the porthole. Jamie froze when she realized that her back was to the entrance. When did she start trusting him to watch her back?

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or continue stalling like a guilty pup?”

Jamie  _ wasn’t _ a pup. If she was still a pup she wouldn’t even be in this mess! She gazed at her rival for the last six years and wondered what his response would be. Would he laugh at her misfortune or sneer at her reluctance to Mate? She chuckled when she realized that she was stalling. For the first time in years, Lupin was correct about something.

“I received a Mating offer today.” If he wanted to know more then he would have to ask. She wasn’t going to pull out her heart and place it on a platter—well, maybe a silver platter would be nice. 

“Fenrir.”

Jamie smirked. He always was fast. Lupin almost knew her better than her parents. She watched his blank face and tried to decipher his emotions. She had gotten better at reading him over the years, but this time she couldn’t see anything. He could have been a statue except for the rise and fall of his chest. 

“Fenrir is a horrible choice for a Mate.” Jamie rolled her eyes despite the seriousness of the conversation. Maybe only she recognized her dire circumstance. “He murders his mates after he’s bored and finds a new one.”

“I know.” She wasn’t born yesterday. His infamy wasn’t known only to pureblood werewolves and Turned, but also to the wizarding kind as well. Horror stories were told about Fenrir Greyback and his lust for murder. Jamie had seen the results of one of his  _ purges _ as he liked to call them. He refused to have weak wolves in his pack and would dispose of them. Their bodies were broken and bloody. She shivered. She had never seen that much blood even when she killed her first deer. The face had been unrecognizable and they were forced to bury it without a name or gender.

“I assume you weren’t stupid enough to ask him.”

Jamie stared at him in shock. Of course, he asked her! Did he really think she would be dumb enough to ask Fenrir Greayback to Mate with her? Did he think that little of her? She shot to her feet and walked away. He was only going to make her angrier if she stayed. What little control she had gained slipped through her fingers. She sneered when he cursed. Apparently he hadn’t meant to sound quite that thick. 

“Just tell him no,” Lupin said as if that solved everything.

Jamie laughed bitterly. Maybe being away from his pack all these years had addled his brain. “I can’t. If I refuse then he’ll declare a feud. We’ve never had good relations with the Teschner Pack and they would willingly side with Fenrir. They would wipe us out in days. And if I agree . . . I would be dead in less than two months.”

Lupin grabbed her hands and forced her to stop pacing. He held firm when she jerked and twisted to get out of his grip. “Listen to me.” He snagged her chin and forced her to look at him. “You’re stronger than the others. You’ll be ab—”

“I’m barren!” she bellowed. Jamie flinched as soon as the terrible words left her mouth. Her eyes darted back and forth over his still face. Why didn’t he say anything? Shouldn’t he quip something about her failure? He always had in the past.

She had never told anyone the truth. It was a well kept secret among a few members of her pack. It was the main reason why her parents never held any hope for her Mating. When her suitor found out that she wouldn’t be able to bear any pups they wouldn’t want her. Packs needed pups—and it was the one thing she would never be able to give. 

“A pack of Turned werewolves somehow snuck past our sentries a few weeks before I was supposed to be born. Dad was gone and mum was left in charge of leading the pack. She fought back as best she could but they forced her to change.”

Female werewolves had to stay in one form during their pregnancy. Either they remained human for nine months until after the birth or they changed into a wolf and gave birth to a pup. Transforming part way through the pregnancy damaged the baby because their magic viewed it as an intruder. Many pups died or were born with defects before the cause was discovered. 

“When she transformed into a wolf . . . the bottom half of my body was crushed. They were able to hold off the attack but the fighting forced her into labor four hours later. The Healers were able to correct  _ almost  _ everything. The rest was too badly damaged.” Jamie turned away from Lupin’s non-reaction. 

“He’d kill you when he found out,” Lupin whispered. “He murdered his last mate because she gave him a girl instead of a boy!”

“I know!” Jamie yelled. She paced in front of the fireplace and rubbed her aching head. Why had she told Lupin? It gave him plenty of blackmail material to hold over her head for the rest of her life. She should have just kept her mouth shut and found a way out of it herself. She didn’t need to rely on  _ him _ . She could do it herself! 

“Mate with me.”

Jamie’s heart stuttered. What? She couldn’t have heard him correctly. “No. Unless you somehow developed amnesia in the last five minutes and forgot—we hate each other!”

“So? Mate with me anyway.”

“You’re insane! I don’t love you.” Jamie said. The thought of Mating with Lupin was ridiculous! They would fight all of the time. They would call each other names and hex each other until they were blue in the face and then they would start all over again the next day. When they got really angry they would transform and fight as wolves because it always gave them more satisfaction. They would snip and argue about territory and how to lead the pack. And over the years they would grow more bitter and resentful. No. It was a stupid idea.

“I trust you.”

Jamie’s protest died on her lips. Lupin trusted her. She chuckled, a little hysterically, and leaned against the fireplace for support. The one man that would accept her for who she was—barren womb and all was the person she had been fighting against for the past six years. Rarely was there a kind word spoken between them, or a nice gesture given. He trusted her anyway.

Lupin trusted that she would allow him to lead the pack. He trusted that Jamie would defer to him in important matters, but still challenge him when they were at home. He trusted her with his pack. He would protect her—even though she didn’t need it or ask for it. They were rivals and understood each other. Jamie didn’t love Remus Lupin, but the sight of him standing before her, defiant and determined, caused a small dent in the wall surrounding her heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr if you’re interested.


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